The “Clinton Baptiste” Scene From Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights (2001)

Obser­va­tion­al com­e­dy takes for its source the minu­ti­ae of every­day life that peo­ple recog­nise with­out nec­es­sar­i­ly hav­ing con­scious­ly acknowl­edged or dis­cussed out loud. Essen­tial­ly, it begins with “Have you ever noticed…?” and fol­lows up with some amus­ing obser­va­tion that hope­ful­ly strikes a chord with the audi­ence. A large part of stand-up com­e­dy is based on this premise, of course. When you bring in some well-observed char­ac­ters, them­selves honed from years of obser­va­tion of var­i­ous arche­types, and put them into a well-devised sit­u­a­tion com­e­dy, you can add a whole new lev­el of humour; Peter Kay is a past mas­ter at this.

It’s his obser­va­tions of life grow­ing up in Bolton that informs Peter Kay’s com­e­dy. In Phoenix Nights, we see his com­e­dy oeu­vre at its finest, hav­ing filled it with idio­syn­crat­ic but true-to-life char­ac­ters and sce­nar­ios gleaned from his expe­ri­ences of north­ern work­ing men’s clubs (for fair­ness, it should be men­tioned that it was­n’t sole­ly Kay’s baby: Dave Spikey and Neil Fitz­mau­rice were co-cre­ators and writ­ers). The Phoenix Club is a fic­tion­al work­ing men’s club, home to the usu­al vari­ety of club themes: cabaret enter­tain­ment, bin­go nights, karaoke, raf­fles, fundrais­ers, and themed nights, with a stage bedecked with a tin­sel­ly back-drop and — all mod cons! — a smoke machine.

The scene I’m high­light­ing is the one star­ring “psy­chic medi­um”, Clin­ton Bap­tiste, and it strikes, I think, a seam of com­e­dy gold. Replete with the motifs of the end-of-the-pier enter­tain­er – the camp­ness, the mul­let, the flam­boy­ant suit, the local accent at odds with the assumed grav­i­tas of a true mys­tic – actor Alex Rowe’s char­ac­ter is a gift, and he por­trays it bril­liant­ly. The con­ceit is that Bap­tiste is a rub­bish medi­um, with no redeem­ing qual­i­ties, and none of the empa­thy that you would expect from a tru­ly spir­i­tu­al per­son.

Not only is he clum­si­ly obvi­ous with his cold-read­ing tech­niques (“is there a John in the audi­ence?”), but he also man­ages to cause offence and upset by deliv­er­ing the bluntest of mes­sages from “beyond the grave”. To one lady: “You’ve not been well have you? And it is ter­mi­nal, isn’t it…?” (which is evi­dent­ly news to her!). And to a man sit­ting with his wife: “Is there some­thing you want­ed to tell her? Get off your chest maybe?”. “What is it?”, we hear the wife demand­ing, as Clin­ton walks away.

Inci­den­tal­ly, Alex Rowe has gone on to devel­op the Clin­ton Bap­tiste char­ac­ter, out­side of the Phoenix Nights episode – check out the hilar­i­ous Clin­ton Baptiste’s Para­nor­mal Pod­cast. But for now, let’s watch his orig­i­nal scene, and enjoy Clin­ton “get­ting a word”…

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