Like More­cambe and Wise before them, the com­e­dy part­ner­ship of Ron­nie Bark­er and Ron­nie Cor­bett as the Two Ron­nies was one made in heav­en. Two strik­ing­ly affa­ble guys with nat­u­ral­ly fun­ny bones, remark­able chem­istry, and an obvi­ous mutu­al deep friend­ship, the Two Ron­nies’ lega­cy has hap­pi­ly been besmirched by nei­ther time nor scan­dal. Their TV show was a huge­ly pop­u­lar fea­ture of Sat­ur­day night enter­tain­ment from 1971 to 1987 and every­one grow­ing up dur­ing this peri­od will remem­ber their shows with great fond­ness, and per­haps con­jure a men­tal pic­ture of the Ron­nies as news­read­ers, read­ing spoof news items and end­ing each show with:

Cor­bett: That’s all we’ve got time for, so it’s “Good­night” from me.

Bark­er: And it’s “Good­night” from him.

Both: Good­night!

The Ron­nies had met each oth­er back in 1963 and first appeared on tele­vi­sion togeth­er in 1966 in The Frost Report with David Frost and John Cleese. How­ev­er, their big break occurred as a result of an eleven-minute tech­ni­cal hitch at a BAFTA awards cer­e­mo­ny at the Lon­don Pal­la­di­um in 1970, in which they filled in, unpre­pared and unscript­ed, with such aplomb that two audi­ence mem­bers, Bill Cot­ton and Sir Paul Fox (the Head of Light Enter­tain­ment and the Con­troller of BBC1 respec­tive­ly), offered them a show on the BBC!

The Two Ron­nies show was filled with sketch­es, either stand­alone or fea­tur­ing recur­ring char­ac­ters, and often involv­ing clever word-play (their Four Can­dles sketch being a case in point). Many of the jokes revolved around Corbett’s lack of height, with the self-dep­re­ca­to­ry Ron­nie C deliv­er­ing many of them him­self:

Bark­er: This next part does suit Ron­nie C. right down to the ground.

Cor­bett: Mind you, that’s not far is it?”

The Ron­nies also had their own solo sec­tion: Ron­nie B usu­al­ly appear­ing as the head of some ridicu­lous­ly-named organ­i­sa­tion, and Ron­nie C deliv­er­ing a dis­cur­sive mono­logue to cam­era from his famous arm­chair. Each series also had an ongo­ing com­ic ser­i­al fea­tur­ing pri­vate detec­tives Charley Far­ley and Pig­gy Mal­one (remem­ber The Phan­tom Rasp­ber­ry Blow­er of Old Lon­don Town?), giv­ing ample scope to guests such as Diana Dors and Kate O’Mara to ham it up.

My favourite sketch though is this clas­sic from 1980, the hilar­i­ous Mas­ter­mind sketch, which you can enjoy below and then per­haps go on to read the tran­script of the revised, expand­ed (and in some places even cor­rect­ed) ver­sion which was per­formed as part of their 1983 Lon­don Pal­la­di­um res­i­den­cy.

Tran­script:

MAGNUS: And so to our final con­tender. Your name, please?

SMITHERS: Good evening.

MAGNUS: Thank you. In the first heat your cho­sen sub­ject was Answer­ing Ques­tions Before They Were Asked. This time you have cho­sen to Answer the Ques­tion Before Last each time. Is that cor­rect?

SMITHERS: Char­lie Smithers.

MAGNUS: And your time starts now. What is palaeon­tol­ogy?

SMITHERS: Yes, absolute­ly cor­rect.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. What is the name of the direc­to­ry that lists mem­bers of the peer­age?

SMITHERS: A study of old fos­sils.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. Who are David Owen and Sir Geof­frey Howe?

SMITHERS: Burke’s.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. What’s the dif­fer­ence between a don­key and an ass?

SMITHERS: One’s a Social Demo­c­rat, the oth­er’s a mem­ber of the Cab­i­net.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. Com­plete the quo­ta­tion, “To be or not to be…”

SMITHERS: They’re both the same.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. What is Bernard Man­ning famous for?

SMITHERS: That is the ques­tion.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. Who is the present Arch­bish­op of Can­ter­bury?

SMITHERS: He’s a fat man who tells blue jokes.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. What do peo­ple kneel on in church?

SMITHERS: The Most Rev­erend Robert Run­cie.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. What do taran­tu­las prey on?

SMITHERS: Has­socks.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. What would you use a rip­cord to pull open?

SMITHERS: Large flies.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. What did Mar­i­lyn Mon­roe always claim to wear in bed?

SMITHERS: A para­chute.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. What was the next new TV sta­tion to go on the air after Chan­nel Four?

SMITHERS: Chanel Num­ber Five.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. What do we nor­mal­ly asso­ciate with Bed­lam?

SMITHERS: Break­fast tele­vi­sion.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. What are jock­straps?

SMITHERS: Nut­cas­es.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. What would a jock­ey use a stir­rup for?

SMITHERS: An ath­let­ic sup­port.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. Arthur Scargill is well known for what?

SMITHERS: He puts his foot in it.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. Who was the famous clown who made mil­lions laugh with his fun­ny hair?

SMITHERS: The leader of the minework­ers’ union.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. What would a dec­o­ra­tor use meth­yl­ene chlo­rides to make?

SMITHERS: Coco.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. What did Hen­ri Toulouse-Lautrec do?

SMITHERS: Paint strip­pers.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. What is Dean Mar­tin famous for?

SMITHERS: Is he an artist?

MAGNUS: Yes — what kind of artist?

SMITHERS: Erm… pass.

MAGNUS: Yes, that’s near enough. What make of vehi­cle is the stan­dard Lon­don bus?

SMITHERS: A Singer.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. In 1892, Bran­don Thomas wrote a famous long-run­ning Eng­lish farce — what is it?

SMITHERS: British Ley­land.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect. Com­plete the fol­low­ing quo­ta­tion about Shirley Williams: “Her heart may be in the right place but her…”

SMITHERS: “Charley’s Aunt”.

MAGNUS: Cor­rect, and you have scored 22 and no pass­es!