Like Morecambe and Wise before them, the comedy partnership of Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett as the Two Ronnies was one made in heaven. Two strikingly affable guys with naturally funny bones, remarkable chemistry, and an obvious mutual deep friendship, the Two Ronnies’ legacy has happily been besmirched by neither time nor scandal. Their TV show was a hugely popular feature of Saturday night entertainment from 1971 to 1987 and everyone growing up during this period will remember their shows with great fondness, and perhaps conjure a mental picture of the Ronnies as newsreaders, reading spoof news items and ending each show with:
Corbett: That’s all we’ve got time for, so it’s “Goodnight” from me.
Barker: And it’s “Goodnight” from him.
Both: Goodnight!
The Ronnies had met each other back in 1963 and first appeared on television together in 1966 in The Frost Report with David Frost and John Cleese. However, their big break occurred as a result of an eleven-minute technical hitch at a BAFTA awards ceremony at the London Palladium in 1970, in which they filled in, unprepared and unscripted, with such aplomb that two audience members, Bill Cotton and Sir Paul Fox (the Head of Light Entertainment and the Controller of BBC1 respectively), offered them a show on the BBC!
The Two Ronnies show was filled with sketches, either standalone or featuring recurring characters, and often involving clever word-play (their Four Candles sketch being a case in point). Many of the jokes revolved around Corbett’s lack of height, with the self-deprecatory Ronnie C delivering many of them himself:
Barker: This next part does suit Ronnie C. right down to the ground.
Corbett: Mind you, that’s not far is it?”
The Ronnies also had their own solo section: Ronnie B usually appearing as the head of some ridiculously-named organisation, and Ronnie C delivering a discursive monologue to camera from his famous armchair. Each series also had an ongoing comic serial featuring private detectives Charley Farley and Piggy Malone (remember The Phantom Raspberry Blower of Old London Town?), giving ample scope to guests such as Diana Dors and Kate O’Mara to ham it up.
My favourite sketch though is this classic from 1980, the hilarious Mastermind sketch, which you can enjoy below and then perhaps go on to read the transcript of the revised, expanded (and in some places even corrected) version which was performed as part of their 1983 London Palladium residency.
Transcript:
MAGNUS: And so to our final contender. Your name, please?
SMITHERS: Good evening.
MAGNUS: Thank you. In the first heat your chosen subject was Answering Questions Before They Were Asked. This time you have chosen to Answer the Question Before Last each time. Is that correct?
SMITHERS: Charlie Smithers.
MAGNUS: And your time starts now. What is palaeontology?
SMITHERS: Yes, absolutely correct.
MAGNUS: Correct. What is the name of the directory that lists members of the peerage?
SMITHERS: A study of old fossils.
MAGNUS: Correct. Who are David Owen and Sir Geoffrey Howe?
SMITHERS: Burke’s.
MAGNUS: Correct. What’s the difference between a donkey and an ass?
SMITHERS: One’s a Social Democrat, the other’s a member of the Cabinet.
MAGNUS: Correct. Complete the quotation, “To be or not to be…”
SMITHERS: They’re both the same.
MAGNUS: Correct. What is Bernard Manning famous for?
SMITHERS: That is the question.
MAGNUS: Correct. Who is the present Archbishop of Canterbury?
SMITHERS: He’s a fat man who tells blue jokes.
MAGNUS: Correct. What do people kneel on in church?
SMITHERS: The Most Reverend Robert Runcie.
MAGNUS: Correct. What do tarantulas prey on?
SMITHERS: Hassocks.
MAGNUS: Correct. What would you use a ripcord to pull open?
SMITHERS: Large flies.
MAGNUS: Correct. What did Marilyn Monroe always claim to wear in bed?
SMITHERS: A parachute.
MAGNUS: Correct. What was the next new TV station to go on the air after Channel Four?
SMITHERS: Chanel Number Five.
MAGNUS: Correct. What do we normally associate with Bedlam?
SMITHERS: Breakfast television.
MAGNUS: Correct. What are jockstraps?
SMITHERS: Nutcases.
MAGNUS: Correct. What would a jockey use a stirrup for?
SMITHERS: An athletic support.
MAGNUS: Correct. Arthur Scargill is well known for what?
SMITHERS: He puts his foot in it.
MAGNUS: Correct. Who was the famous clown who made millions laugh with his funny hair?
SMITHERS: The leader of the mineworkers’ union.
MAGNUS: Correct. What would a decorator use methylene chlorides to make?
SMITHERS: Coco.
MAGNUS: Correct. What did Henri Toulouse-Lautrec do?
SMITHERS: Paint strippers.
MAGNUS: Correct. What is Dean Martin famous for?
SMITHERS: Is he an artist?
MAGNUS: Yes – what kind of artist?
SMITHERS: Erm… pass.
MAGNUS: Yes, that’s near enough. What make of vehicle is the standard London bus?
SMITHERS: A Singer.
MAGNUS: Correct. In 1892, Brandon Thomas wrote a famous long-running English farce – what is it?
SMITHERS: British Leyland.
MAGNUS: Correct. Complete the following quotation about Shirley Williams: “Her heart may be in the right place but her…”
SMITHERS: “Charley’s Aunt”.
MAGNUS: Correct, and you have scored 22 and no passes!
